Here is where I try to get extra mileage out of everything I’ve already done, like a “best of” compilation a tv show might do after only showing 5 episodes and you can remember it all. They’re quite annoying.
In January I posted this picture of some nice chard on twitter:
Although I think it was taken the previous autumn. In fact I know it was. It was taken in October 2013 but it doesn’t matter because I posted it onto twitter in January 2014.
I also did some art stuff. Click here to see my silly January blog posts about cricket, pencils sharpeners and fictional new age music. There are also some little comics and a toybox.
In February I painted 6 spherical solar system objects
and then I decided to paint them all, later discovering that there are 34.
The first blog post of these appeared in February, along with some more little comics that you can see here.
In March I went back to work full time and became stranded on Bowleys Lane. This ushered in a slump in productivity that was reflected in my website traffic:
This proves that you can’t successfully do whatever you want and have a job. The next time someone tells you that you can you tell them that you’ve seen proof that they don’t know anything.
However, despite the slump I still managed to rough out the next book
As far as I can tell in April I did absolutely nothing. Twitter informs me that I lost and found my Ipod three times in one minute on the 6th.
In May there was a machine for making pineapple rings. I also invented two jokes, symbols of my productive nadir.
Mewsli would’ve been better.
I spent June standing in fields. Not for any spiritual reasons, just because I get money if I do.
The garden made 4 raspberries. Symbols of renewed productivity.
Here is a picture taken on holiday in Croatia from the top of a scrubby rubble hill that I nearly died walking up and down in sandals like an idiot tourist that you might see on the news.
Also in August I did some real drawing.
In September 30th I threw hot milk over myself and the kitchen and then I had a flat tyre. It was fine really but a bit of a faff. I got angry at the milk thing. Saucepan.
In October the fields were looking less nice
although some days were still nice.
Also in October I kickfunded my solar system book.
In November there was a strange greasy mark on the window and it turned out that a pigeon had flown into the window and killed itself.
The cat from downstairs plucked some of it and then ate a bit of pigeon. The next day I went to move the corpse but it was gone. I don’t know where it went but to be honest I didn’t look very hard. I haven’t smelled anything. The greasy mark is still there like a lardy ghost. It’s on the outside so it’s tricky to clean.
December is now. It’s okay I guess. I’ve made a round things calendar for next year if you want one. It is here. Also, we planted a terrarium. Presumably it is totally the wrong time of year to be planting things. The plants are currently dying.
So, as it’s a review we need to round up the year:
Months of productivity: 5/12
Months with nice things: 5/12
Months that were okay: 6/12
Months with dead things: 1/12
Number of raspberries: 4/4
Total: 21/52, which is 40%.